Eros’ kitchen: recipes to become a Love Competent Man.

From blunders in relationships, breakups and broken-heartedness, to crafting a skilled and sacred Love life.
An on-line workshop primer in the Erotic Discipline of Men following the Love apprenticeship of medieval knights.



You love women and you treat them right but you keep getting burnt in your relationships, and you want to understand the reasons why.

There were moments while with your beloved, you found yourself at the edge of a magnificence that you could not name. You were blissed yet dared not go forward. You long for those moments and seek a map to take you back to that edge and beyond.

If those statements ring true, this workshop is for you.

In western antiquity, the essence of masculinity, Eros, was often represented with an erected penis with wings. It is a beautiful symbol of the male’s Love agency. It unites our physical drive with our capacity to create spiritual transcendence, or our “compulsion to make things raise” as the Greek poets use to say.

Yet it seems that, in modernity, we have lost those wings and we are boxed in negative cultural ghettos of “toxic masculinity” and “patriarchy” where we are gasping for air.

We are so much better than that. We know it in our bones. Yet, most of us move with hesitancy in Love, looking over our shoulder while we have a gnawing feeling that there is more to a relationship with a woman than endless negotiations, trading, tiptoeing and appeasement.

The purpose of this workshop is for you to regain those wings.

The issue at the center of the trouble is, as usual, a very bad idea. In modernity, we think of Love as “natural.” Love just “happens” we say, and when it “happens” we don’t need to invest ourselves in it, we can just let our women take care of it. The truth is that love and intimacy are not “natural” to a man as the winged erected penis has poor aerodynamics. It requires great skills to fly as the pilot is seated in an apparent contradiction of terms: between arousal and transcendence, physical compulsion and the levity of Love. Without wings a man is a menace to women, life, and thus the world dies; only wings and the man is ineffectual and the world dies.

I call the skill to fly this strange and beautiful contraption the erotic discipline. It has to be learnt and practiced. Think of it as work, a craft. In other words, think of love as an act of creation, an art, and like all art or craft, requires learning an apprenticeship of sorts.

All the indigenous societies of the past were well aware of that. The moment young men showed an interest in women they underwent a period of initiation where they learnt about the power and beauty of their gender and the necessary Love skills to express it.

Women depend on those skills: while they have the genius of relationships, we own the genius of erotic love. They admire it and need it. They are lost without it just like we can be lost without a woman to receive us. Timidity in expressing our creative erotic genius eventually results in painful breakups and serially unfulfilling relationships.

In the Middle Ages, that apprenticeship was called Courtly Love: a long period of rigorous, disciplined training in service of a Lady where the knights spent as much time cultivating their love pursuit as they spent training with their swords. We will glean from the writings of Dante chronicling his love story with Beatrice, the major steps of this Love education and see how we can apply them in our life.

The workshop is not about helping you ‘get’ women and other trickeries rather about discovering that Eros is not a vitamin you take to spice up your sexual life but a great call towards the full expression of your beauty and purpose in the world.

You will learn about:


  • The profound difference between men and women and how the awareness of those differences spell the success of intimacy, sexual and spiritual life.
  • The inner mechanics of Eros: the ‘madness’ of love and its connection to creativity.
  • What triggers and feeds love in a man or a woman and what destroys it. What is his/her deepest need?
  • The Erotic criteria for choosing or leaving a partner.
  • The physiology of love is incompatible with the physiology of sex. The Erotic discipline is the capacity to switch between the two.
  • The love wound of modern women: stuck between the orgasmobile and the Goddess. Their great silent lament and the need for your love leadership.
  • The bad mythologies of Love: the Soul-mate, the inner woman, looking for mummy, and other horrors. Learning the difference between giving dick versus getting pussy.
  • The role of man in activating the Feminine.
  • The purpose of Eros: the male authority at the service of the radiance of the Feminine.
  • The maturity of Eros: Constancy, adoration, fidelity and the radiance of the Feminine
  • The erotic discipline is the capacity to be present to beauty.